Good day, You. Good day!

Let’s get right to it…

How does Pearl and the Beard get people to come out to their Midwest tour shows!? CONVERSION VAN ICE CREAM!!! AHHHHH!!!!

I have been on Craiglist searching for vans, cars, SUVs, one bedroom apartments, two bed room apartments.  I don’t think I’ve ever been so in tune to my own posture in my life.  Things aren’t coming together any smoother than they were last week, but I’m past the black hole stage of hopelessness, I think.  At the other end, I’ve come out obsessed with conversion vans and industrial loft apartments (both pipe dreams here in New York, I’ll have you know…)

In any case, today’s song is in honor of all those scammers, jerk-faces, and lame-o’s who had a sweet conversion van for sale (that I probably shouldn’t have been looking at anyway) but didn’t show up to show it to me when we had an appointment to do so.  It’s also in honor of all these hours of looking, searching and googling to find the perfect MPGs.  Sigh.  Man, I think I might miss it when it’s all over… NO. NO, I WON’T.

The main line of this song is I will eat you alive in the Garden of Eden.  This came from a sample piece that came to me somewhere, and I sang it into the crapiness that is my phone recorder.  I stumbled upon it today and used it for this.

What weird thing have you found on Craiglist recently?  Hmm… maybe don’t tell me… kind of don’t want to know.  (But secretly do.)


Garden of Eden (I Will Eat You Alive)

We will confuse all our friends
And will cash in our chips
Just to sell back the car with upholstery rips
We will barter for trades
And then give them all back
Just to die oh so slowly from painting it black