DAY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-FOUR
I would like to make public, before I go into a song about poo and pee (and since we’re talking about bodily functions and getting all personal anyway): I have Silent Acid Reflux Disease (what!? Disease!?) or LARYNGOPHARYNGEAL REFLUX. It makes me wake up feeling horrible and makes me sick, sick, sick. It’s also affecting my vocal chords which is stressful. So, I am starting a new, scary, life-changing diet: I have to eat REALLY healthy! Ahh! No tortilla chips, fried food, acidic juices including orange juice, grapefruit juice (my favorite!), red meat, butter, chocolate (!?), cheese, eggs, caffeine, soda and PROCESSED SUGAR- NOOOOO!!! GOOD BYE GUMMIES! FOREVER!!!
(okay, maybe some Violent Femmes)
Emily’s Theory #344: Everything Rhymes with Poo and Pee. Everything. There is a huge list of things that rhyme with poo and pee. You can even rhyme things that don’t seem to rhyme, for example: dog – pee – doggie; pomegranate – poo – pomegrantoo. Yes. True.
Emily’ Theory #2: Try to fit woo, hey, or yeah in as many songs as possible (within reason).
This is the second take, and I’m on my way out back home from Connecticut, so no need to be picky (Jonathan says not to be picky on a song about poo and pee. I say it’s the one reason to be picky…)
I am having a frustrating time with this new mic I have recently acquired, so I apologize for the poor recording quality. There are a million different settings on this thing, and I have yet to figure out how it works exactly.
Everything Rhymes with Pee and Poo
I was out on the lake, Lake Pocataupog Lovin’ my stay with my fine lookin’ dog I was pleased I was there and wish you were too Cause I’m rhyming with pee and I’m rhyming with poo Out with my fine mercury 75 When out of the blue that mercury died Middle of the water with nothing to do So now I’m rhyming with pee and I’m rhyming with poo Everything rhymes with pee and poo Just give it a try, you can do it too Everything rhymes with poo and pee Just give it a try and you will see Out there all alone just sittin’ on my ass When a purring 3-6-0 cut through the glass Drivin’ that boat – a fine red bikini She’s got me rhyming with poo and rhyming with pee Next thing I know we’re driving to shore I ask her her name and she says, “What for?” I say, “I sure like your boat and since mine’s out to sea, Let’s do some rhyming with poo and rhyming with pee…” Everything rhymes with pee and poo Just give it a try, you can do it too Everything rhymes with poo and pee Just give it a try and you will see Do shoe glue stew blue, flu, kung foo, two, chew, screw, clue, Kalamazoo Everything rhymes with pee and poo See, tree, flea, plea, key, bee, banshee, Bruce Lee, bourgeoisie and a hysterectomy Everything rhymes with poo and pee Everything rhymes with poo and pee Everything rhymes with poo and pee