150. Fight Club


Our past.  Oh, how it follows us.  Haunts us.  People haunt us… well, at least figurative apparitions of people we once knew do (unless you’re one of those people who sees literal apparitions all the time…*See M. Knight Shamalamadingdong)

Sometimes I’ll meet a person, and I might see a faint resemblance to a person I once knew.  It always strikes me as something quite significant when it happens.  If I’m going to be transparent here, what I’m really talking about is this:

Stupid people in love or in un-love do stupid things.  Sometimes they loved you for only one second but, BAM, you find you’re suddenly stuck being in love with them at the totally inopportune time, and you’re left to your own devices to get over it as quickly as possible.  I find this person gets stuck straight up in my mind like a marker, a pole in the bog of my mind, if you will.  Even if months or years later I’m in a loving, supportive and committed relationship, there is that constant reminder of who and where I was and how I felt at the time.  Memory.  Then, when I run into people with similar hair or eyes or bodies, it hits me, and I think, “Oh… there you are.  That’s right… I really loved you once, didn’t I?”  A memory so long ago yet still there, bobbing around in the bog, hanging out until it, well… I don’t know…just hanging out harmless, but imbedded.

This is kind of about that…(but also mix of a few things that happened to me yesterday).

Writing: Was generally very, very fast except for a hang up I had about the B section and rhyming with the word cured.  I liked where I was going with the line, but couldn’t find anything to accompany it so I just left it out, sadly.

I wrote to be frank and intentionally vulnerable.  I tried not to hide too much from you in the vernacular and just said it.  It was a challenge, actually.  In the middle of recording I switched the first two verses because I realized it might make more sense that way even if they didn’t come out in that order.  I don’t do that very often… and maybe I should look at that as part of the quick editing process as far as a song-of-the-day goes.

Recording: Why must I insist on recording in this wretched bathroom?  For some reason it takes time and time and time again to get it right.  I can get quiet there but for some reason it NEVER goes smoothly.  I had to do this in two sections, and I had a hard time cutting them together.  Should we play: Where Is The Splice?  Okay… go!

I was working with an engineer once that told me you can’t use volume as expression (which I so often do) when you record.  The mic doesn’t record three dimensionally and, though some engineers like to follow the singers up and down with their volumizers or whatever, for some its preferred to just sing straight.  Well, if you’re asked to do that, how do you create tension and release and intensity over vulnerability?  So, I tried it with this song (though I slipped in and out of it).  In a section where I would normally go louder I tried to just give the impression of loudness (or intensity) by changing where I was singing in my voice, not how loud I was going with my voice.  I am going to practice this because it’s interesting to me, and it kind of makes sense.  With some practice I wonder if it would communicate better than doing automation on really loud singing… I don’t know… anyway….here you go:

Fight Club

I think I’ll join a fight club
See if I can relieve tension
Can you see I’m not dying
So, I’ll see you around sometime
Punch me in the face
Can you see I’m not crying
By my heal, I’m not crying
So I’ll see you around sometime
Am I fated to die with your face on my mind
And your fist in my face and a knee in my side?
You look just like him
Eyes weigh twenty pounds and then some
I’m not lonesome
Can you see I’m still thinkin’ about you
Cut my hair to the white bone
Sob in your sleeve cause I’m ugly now
Can you see I’m still bleeding
So I’ll see you around sometime
Am I fated to die with your face on my mind
And your fist in my face and a knee in my side?

4 thoughts on “150. Fight Club

  1. yes. SO GREAT! i’ve had that intensity/loudness issue/thought before as well, it’s interesting to explore with. i think you got what you were looking for here. i love this!

  2. There’s something about this one that draws me in. It has an intensity that’s got me clicking the play button several times. It’s very you.


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