Good day there and here. I have spent the last eight hours or so with my friend Anne-Marie and spent the night at her house. She has arranged some songs of mine (Love Song and Miserole) for women’s choir for my show on Saturday here in Salt Lake this weekend. I came to her house for a first time rehearsal, and it was awesome. I think it’s going to be really awesome, and I’m excited for people to hear it.
I also had a rehearsal yesterday with Steve Keen, the accordionist of The Klesbros who will be playing on Friday’s show. He plays gypsy music with a 17 year old singer/dancer. In his own words, he described her as missing the part in her brain that makes her care about what other people think of her as a performer. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but a huge part of this project is aiming to destroy the part in my brain that deals with that stuff. It’s one thing to pretend you have artistic freedom within your own creative space and quite another to really believe it in your core. Maybe I’m revealing too much about myself here, however. But I think I have a greater chance of ridding myself of the insecurities by making them public: kind of like telling all your friends you want to quit smoking or lose weight. Maybe you’re more apt to succeed.
A good example of carefree performing would be: Little Dragon. Pearl and the Beard opened for this group some time ago in Boston. I remember watching the lead singer perform: she was a great performer; more subtle than some I’ve seen (I mean, she wasn’t doing leg kicks or anything), but awesome. This band is awesome live. I loved it. AND if you’re in Salt Lake, they are playing on April 6th at Urban Lounge. If you are free, don’t miss it.
And since we’re talking about examples, I really feel like a “no fear” mentality not only applies to a live show, but to writing as well. Bjork, Karen O of the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs, Lady Gaga, Jack White of The White Stripes (and a million other projects), David Bowie, the list goes on (I grew up watching Dolly Pardon and really liked and admired her). But I question my own examples, actually. These are all very dynamic writers and performers, but is dynamic the only quality that exemplifies a freedom from self-doubt and criticism? Certainly not, and I understand everyone has their problems to deal with, but this very short list of performers are quick examples of a deeper idea of letting go of that part of myself that holds me back. The times I’ve taken risks musically (both in writing and performing) are the risks that might not be the most successful on paper, but the ones I’ve learned from the most, and, I’m guessing, the ones the audience appreciated more.
Jonathan’s father requested he be buried in Panguitch, Utah. This place is a far cry from New York City. The only noises were passing cars and cows. Sounds are fascinating. Some times people who live in big cities and go out to open spaces react really violently to the change. Here, I’m creating a more busy space within a place that is the total opposite of busy. The sounds I captured in Panguitch are doubled, tripled, and quadrupled and scattered on top of one another.