129. Brad Pitt Sits Out In The Van (Sam Stolpe, Phillip Bautista, Jonathan Clark)

DAY ONE-HUNDRED AND TWENTY-NINE

Jonathan, Phillip, and Sam Stolpe

I have not had internet ALL DAY.  I even tried to “borrow” it from an open network, but nothing… NOTHING.  Is it the rain?  So I’ve had a song ready all day and couldn’t post it… So!  Here it is… and it’s a special installment which I will let Sam Stolpe, my friend from DC, (who came to visit today with friend Phillip – they came up to run from Washington Heights to Battery Park…made it to 14th street), put into his own words.  (See below)  He is always very enthusiastic about helping me with a song for the 365, and, over breakfast, he told this story which we made into a reality for him.

Sam: Guitar and vocals.  Jonathan: snare, tambourine, grunting.  Phillip: Omnichord and grunting.  Emily: cello and grunting.

Sam Stolpe: With this song, Emily helped me to fulfill a dream.  Literally.  On the night of November 24, 2005 I was awoken from a remarkable vision: Standing in a children’s park bordered by brilliant trees, my attention was drawn to the most amazing bicycle that I have ever seen.  I was completely captivated by the bicycle and felt compelled to take it.  I went on a fantastic ride… but I soon began thinking of the owner, and the evil thing I had done by taking it without asking.

I turned around to return the bike, and found a group of little people gathered around a dwarf consoling him.  He was the owner of the bicycle, and brightened when he saw me approach.  I apologized for taking his bicycle, to which he replied that my honesty in returning it would be rewarded by his revealing to me this secret: he was a magical dwarf.  He took me to a fantastic recording studio, the focal point of which was a curious machine.  It was like an organ, in that it had the keys of a piano, but with many bewildering dials and knobs, and strange digital screens.  My new dwarven friend explained that the magic of the device would sing forth lyrics as I composed them in my mind and played the keys.

As I played the device the song in my mind came wafting out.  Each key I pressed evoked a single word, sung by the machine in the voice of the magical dwarf.  This is the song that I wrote, and then immediately awoke:

Brad Pitt Sits Out In The Van

Brad Pitt sits out in the van

While Angelina drops the kids off

Brad Pitt sits out in the van

And Jen is calling on her cell phone

93. Ode To Delta No. 2 (or Delta, Delta, Delta)

DAY NINETY-THREE

This has been quite a day.  I will just paraphrase for you:

• Woke up at 6:30 am.
• Ran to airport to arrive there at 7:30
• Rushed to our plane at 8:30
• Gate checked my cello
• Sat on the plane for an hour to de-ice
• Watched It’s Complicated with Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep (not at their best, mind you. I regret I had earphones on me.)
• Also watched 2 episodes of Jason Schwartzman’s HBO series Bored to Death.  (Was glad I had earphones on me.  It’s silly stupid, and I liked it.)
• Landed at 3:30 and sat on the plane for an hour in a line of other planes.
• Learned that, without surprise, they took my cello to baggage claim despite having a pink “gate check” tag on it.  The whole point of gate checking my cello and expecting it back at the gate upon arrival is to save me and them a lot of hassle, but they get all ornery about strollers vs. instruments and often take it to baggage claim anyway.
• Found my cello disappeared somewhere between the plane and baggage claim and spent three hours in Delta’s lost luggage department seconds away from tears or a heart attack as they continued to tell me they had lost it and didn’t know where, not only my cello, but all of the oversized baggage had been taken.

I also learned, while waiting, that they had put the oversized baggage on the carousel and it had jammed somehow.  The jam had caused the delay.  Now, imagine Emily Hope imagining her cello the cause of the jam, and it being crushed and pulverized, despite her cello encased in blankets, clothes, and Karen Poleshuck’s awesomely strong cello case.  Panic increases.

Three hours later they wheel my cello out, in fine condition, apologizing and telling me they will give me more mileage for my trouble.  I’d rather just be guaranteed a free cello seat every single time I fly, but our relationship hasn’t reached that stage of intimacy, obviously.

Sigh.

I attempted to post a song this morning but with all the running about, I find that I had to wait until now to post the song for the day.  I simply had to forego my original plan and write an Ode to Delta, since, on my trip to and from Utah, they were so wonderful as to lose my cello TWICE.

There is an omnichord in this song.

There are three Emily vocals in this song.

Jonathan is singing very quietly in the kitchen while he makes us our first meal of the day: at 7:14 pm.

Ode To Delta No. 2 (or Delta, Delta, Delta)

Delta delta delta

Can I help you help you help you

Once is twice as nice to lose

The things that mean nothing to me

But twice is twice as nice

And I’m so glad to be the reaper

Won the card and played the game and

Now I’m three times as thankful so

Delta delta delta

Can I help you help you help you

Delta delta delta

Can I help you help you help you

Love, I love you

Love, I love you

Ease, it’s easy

It’s easy to love you sooo

Delta delta delta

Can I help you help you help you

Please…

(whisper: Delta, I love you)

35. Two Out of Three Dinosaur Feathers (A 5 Minute Group Effort)

DAY THIRTY-FIVE

Weird.  I totally posted this last night before I went to bed, and I wake up at 7 to find that it is still a draft, waiting to be posted.  Oh, well.   Here you go!

Two Out of Three Dinosaur Feathers Agree: Watermelons are Best for a 5 minute song.

Thanks to Jocelyn for the lyrics!  yesss!

“Two Out of Three Dinosaur Feathers Agree: Watermelons are Best for a 5 minute song.”

1 2 3 4.

Verse 1
Oh, I got a watermelon and I’m walking from the store.
I got some little brussel sprouts and baby, I got veggies galore.
I got veggies galore!
I got a small banana and I got some Pikachu.
I got some big old noodles and I’m giving them to you,
Oh baby, I got vegetables for you!

Chous
Oh!

Unintentional Bridge
The Deliberation over how long to make the Chorus

1 2 3 4.

Verse 3
Got a watermelon and I’m walking from the store.
I got a bag of peaches and I’ve got veggies galore,
Oh baby, you know I got em galore!
I got a bag of noodles and I’ve got some pizza pie.
I got a little croissant, I got it in my eye,
Oh, got that croissant in my eye!

Chorus
Oh,
OH!

1 2 3 4.

Intentional Bridge
Watermelon Noises

1 2 3 4.

Verse 3
I got a little sister and she really is my friend.
She is a really great person, I’ll love her til the end.
Oh no, I got veggies for her!
I got a crazy diet when I eat my vegetables.
I got a crazy friend in me, and you know that I love you the most.
Oh, I love you the most!

Chorus
Oh,
OH
OH!
AAH!

Fin: “Okay, that was perfectly serviceable.”

This is what happens when two out of three members in Dinosaur Feathers and Pearl and the Beard have a show and write a song in 5 minutes in a tiny basement venue in Brooklyn.

Jocelyn Mackenzie: uke

EHP: Omnichord

Greg: Drums

Ryan: Electric Bass

Tonight we all had a show at a cool place in Brooklyn called Sycamore.  It was intimate, small, and sweaty.  Pearl and the Beard played almost all new songs, but specifically, we wrote this song in about 5 minutes: the fastest collaboration of the 365 yet.  Thanks to Jocelyn for her totally improvisational lyric skills, Greg and Ryan (the really loud one- sorry about that) for their magnificent drumming (a talent which I was clueless he had, in fact!) and bass talents (respectively).

This is a good learning experience for a number of reasons: I’m getting better at the omnichord and realizing I’m a horrible lyrical improviser.  I suppose the only way to improve is to just do it, but until then I’ll just let Jocelyn handle it…

I looked at Jocelyn, pointed at her and said, “Say the first thing that comes to your mind.”  After some hesitation (amazingly), she shouted out: Watermelon!  So, I suppose this is an ode, of sorts, to a watermelon.  The style chosen was: POLKA. The weird noises you hear us making are the sounds a watermelon might make… if it could make sounds…hmm.

Now that it is 2 am, I’m sleeping!

See you tomorrow!

EHP

26. Poison; You Are (What You Are Is What I Am).

DAY TWENTY-SIX

(I accidentally typed day twenty-sex. Twice.)

Nearly one month gone.  Nearly.

Dura Mater

This is the Iron that makes you Audience.

Contravene.

It is the New Math.

Concutere.

Here is its Venue.

Painting you a picture, you may hear what it feels like.

Poison; You Are (What You Are Is What I Am).

Instrumentation: violin, omnichord, composed midi-instruments, voice sample (s.)

Composition Time: Approx. 4-5 hours.  Headphones are recommended.

(Hoping you are well, as I am happy you have come back to visit.)

17. I Can’t See Anything

DAY EIGHTEEN.

I love my friends.  I want you to meet them.

Jeremy, EHP, Jim, Jocelyn: Really, we can't see anything without our glasses.

Jocelyn Mackenzie: Glasses-wearing, drumming, lyricist-to-the-stars-improv-ing, rap-geniusing, angelic-voicing, uber-knittering, glock-hitting, shaker-ing, member of Pearl and the Beard.

Jeremy Styles: ALSO glasses-wearing, bartending, ladies-manning, guitar-strumming, sometimes drum-hitting, and sexy-vocal-tantalizing member of Pearl and the Beard

Jim Altieri: ALSO glasses wearing, computer-knowing, violin-sweeping, sweet-composering, Jocelyn-loving, temporary accordion-squeezin’, for Pearl and the Beard’s Mercury Lounge show, January 23.  (This Saturday!)  *Jocelyn and Jim are also in the band Poo Poo Jim and Pee Pee Girl

Jeremy, Jonathan, EHP, Jim, Jocelyn!

These three lovely people came over tonight for a rehearsal for our show coming up.  Yet again, captured artists + EHP needs a song for today = collaboration with Pearl and the Beard, Jim Altieri and Jonathan Clark!  YESSS!  I told them we were going to write a song in 15 minutes and record it in 10, so they agreed to do it, and I do believe we actually did it in that time. In fact, we may have written it in less than 15 minutes (considering the words are minimal!)  I had come up with the words and melody for “I can’t see anything, anything without my glasses,” a few weeks ago and had planned on doing it with someone.  I shouted it out, and that’s how the song came to be.  I love doing songs like this with lots of minds thinking and lots of care free grabbing of instruments.  I even made a shaker out of Tupperware and rice!  I am happier because this songs exists… I love you guys so much.

This is Jocelyn Mackenzie. This is Jocelyn Mackenzie’s word salad.  Jocelyn is improvising here.  (I get so jealous she can do this!)  I mean, “Don’t kiss ‘em under a waterfall cause those glasses will get fogged by waterfall droplets”?!  This totally kills me.   This is nothing, friend.  Just wait until you catch her in full-force.  She can unleash an improvised rhyme or verse on you at any moment so hard that your face will melt to the ground!  (I haven’t even attempted a rap yet. To be sure, I will do it with her.)  And, as I mentioned yesterday, today’s song marks the first song within the 365 to contain: A SWEAR WORD! Get ready!

Also of personal note: I am playing the shaker!  And one of my favorite parts is hearing Jonathan and Jim come in with their low and grumbly registers starting a chorus…yessss!

Yet again, another hilarious and entertaining evening creating the 365.  We did two versions for you: an mp3 and a video version.  The “lyrics” below are from the the mp3.  See you tomorrow!

I Can’t See Anything

instrumentation: Jocelyn Mackenzie: glockenspiel; Jim Altieri: violin; Jeremy Styles: guitar; Jonathan Clark, omnichord beats. EHP: shaker

I can’t see anything, anything without my glasses

Jocelyn:

Yo, girl, you know sometimes when you’re walking down the street or whateva

And your glasses fall offa your face and you can’t see nothin’, girl

Well, that don’t mean I don’t love you cause I can’t see you

Even when I can’t see your face you’re beautiful.

I want to kiss you on your face

But especially I want to kiss you when I put my glasses on cause I can see you better

The visually impaired have one problem and one problem only

and that is that they can’t see shit without their glasses

So, get your lover, get your glasses, get your lover’s glasses

Find the person nearest you wearing a pair of glasses

Kiss ‘em right on the mouth

Don’t kiss ‘em under a waterfall

Cause those glasses will get fogged by waterfall droplets.

Okay, everybody, so I’m just sayin’ I love you girl, you’re beautiful

I can’t see you without my glasses, girl, but that don’t mean I don’t love you.

I can’t see anything, anything without my glasses.

Jim:

…At all…

5. You Don’t Know What You’re Doing

DAY FIVE

COLLABORATION FRIDAY!  Friend, this is how magic happens.

Anthony Da Costa, Emilyn Brodsky, Marie Darling, EHP, James Frazee

I talked about the uke playin’ and singin’ Emilyn Brodsky in yesterday‘s post.  Well, here she is, and she’s brought others.   We found amazing guitarist and songwriter Anthony Da Costa watching television. (He said the remote control just magically landed on the Real World D.C.  Sure, sure.)  We gathered together our resources of 1. Anthony’s guitar and 2. EHP’s Omnichord and began crafting a song together.  After many entertaining attempts (one of which included a chorus of “Nobody Cares!” which we felt was a bit depressing), the Omnichord became irritable and sleepy.  It almost went home when suddenly, and unexpectedly, at the last second, a song was born!  As we were in the stages of verse configuration, in walks french songstress Marie Darling to join the collaboration as well.  (I’m telling you right now: I have never wanted to be french so bad in my whole life.)   As we commenced recording, we only felt it appropriate that the real french lady (not the fake one) sing the french lyric in our song.  We’re so international.  You will hear the phrase fait accompli sung extremely well by Marie.  The first take we did was the first time we heard her sing this- and you can only imagine how its total wickedness took us a little off guard. Supposedly that specific phrase doesn’t actually mean that much in French, but English speakers (according to Google search) say it means-

1.  Creation of a situation which is irreversible and with which other parties will have to live, even if grudgingly.

Wondering about the Omnichord? Given to me as a gift from Nadia Ali, and I love it!

Prepare yourself, as you will hear another fantastic aspect of this song: recording engineer and producer James Frazee (a man with an amazing ear who will be working on Emilyn Brodsky and Anthony DaCosta’s next albums) has a cameo at the very end.

I wanted to talk to you a little bit about the art of collaborating.  Without thinking about it I noticed I just said “art” of collaborating, and I’m totally agreeing with myself.  It’s an art, and collaboration can be really rewarding (like in today’s song) or really awful (example withheld).  In my case, today’s song involved musicians who I totally respect and revere as well as being a bit intimidated by.  It’s this intimidation I feel that can make working with other songwriters difficult for me.  It’s yet another reason why this project is so good for me, too.  Sadly, I think under any other circumstance, I wouldn’t have asked these people to write a song with me.  And how unfortunate!  Our little song would not have ever been born!  There’s always some excuse or fear behind exposing your weaknesses or strengths, even, to other creators though I know we all have them.  For example, Emilyn is a genius wordsmith and Anthony is amazing at fitting chords and lyrics together very quickly.  These are two qualities I have to work at, and I spend a lot of time crafting in the privacy of my own writing hole.  However, being with people who create so well in such a short period of time is infectious and opens up new ways of thinking.  It was so awesome.  Thanks, Aubergine!

Recorded live using my little stereo mic.  (Unless I tell you different, all songs are recorded with this little cheap-o microphone, my M-Audio and Garageband.)  I got to Emilyn’s house at 6 pm, and I was on the train home by 10:30 pm.  That time frame is misleading.  Emilyn was in the shower when I first arrived, so we probably started writing this song at 8:00 after other less intriguing leads on other starts.  We used the second of two takes.  The natural panning that occurs due to how we were all situated around the mic is amazing to me!  Not knowing anything about recording or the technical aspects of it, finding happy accidents like that is cool for me.

You Don’t Know What You’re Doing

you don’t know what you’re doing to me.

the way you’re walking down the street
the way you’re dancing to the beat
the way you make my heart complete
you don’t know what you’re doing to me.

i know just what i’m doing to you.
and you don’t even have a clue.
i could tell you if you wanted me to
i know just what i’m doing.

the way i’m walking down the street
the way i’m dancing to the beat
the way i make your heart complete
fait accompli.

when it started and you were first mine
you said you loved me and i thought you were kind
and now in retrospect i see i was blind.

you don’t know what you’re doing to me.

On tour with Pearl and the Beard and Ugly Purple Sweater in Boston!  Back in New York today, then on the road again Saturday to New Jersey, Baltimore, Philly, and DC.  I’ll let you know how things go recording and writing-wise whilst on the road.  Fingers crossed!

Thank you for checking in and coming here.  Your presence here is super-valued, and whether you read or not, I’m so glad you listen!  May your day today be Friday-licious.

See you tomorrow,

EHP