157. Black Hole of Calcutta

DAY ONE-HUNDRED AND FIFTY-SEVEN

I must give great thanks to Lady Lamb the Beekeeper and Anna Vogelzang for the lyric help today. In talking with Lady Lamb some weeks ago about writing lyrics, and she sent 5 words over text for me to put into a song. These 5 words were:

apricot

June

swoon

wheat

remember

I got a text from Anna Vogelzang today that somehow ended up in me talking about her beautiful bird tattoos (which can be found on the underside of her forearm). Long story short (and after a short discussion about fish oil and its positive properties), Anna suggested that I include the words:

bird tattoo

fish oil (I failed! I just couldn’t find place for it. FAIL!)

Writing: I LOVE YOU www.etymonline.com. You make my life so much more interesting and knowledge filled. When Lady Lamb first sent me her words some weeks ago now, I spent a while researching them on the online etymology dictionary website. I found such incredibly interesting things!

Apricot linked me to the word Aubergine – fruit of the eggplant (ironically, my friend Emilyn Brodsky is linked to the word Aubergine almost intimately… she is also included in this song in another way: Emilyn recently gave me a vintage blue hat which I love. It is the blue hat referenced in the second line.)

June sent me to The Black Hole of Calcutta. What a horribly sad and terrifying story. “Black Hole of Calcutta, incident of June 19, 1756, in which 146 British POWs taken by the Nawab of Bengal after the capture of Ft. William, Calcutta, were held overnight in punishment cell of the barracks (meant to hold 4 people) and all but 23 perished.”

Oddly, June 19th is my birthday, which had me addressing “Emmy” in the song, a name my family called me when I was very, very little. My idea for the narrating was a man struggling to survive, wanting more to give in to his circumstance whilst in The Black Hole, speaking to “Emmy” a presence who is very far from him and in a totally different world than where he finds himself.

Swoon is “in a faint, to choke, to sigh”… then wheat and remember came by themselves.

Recording: The vocals and cello were done at the same time. This is the first full take, and, in the interest of time, I didn’t do it again. I was thoughtful about the instrumental: should it be simple and only reflect the melody line? Should it be more free and improvised or feel more mapped out? I did a few improvisations trying these different ideas and ended up with this one.

It was difficult to fit all the required words in, but I did all but one. Near triumph! And thanks to Anna’s birds, I had a jumping off point. Have a wonderful, wonderful day…

Black Hole of Calcutta

Where is your bird tattoo?

Send me your blue hat

Lest I forget so well

Upon this day you died

I’m at a loss for words

Stole them right off my tongue

Now it is June, Emmy, now it is June

Stuck in the Black Hole of Calcutta

Not sure I’ll make it out

The man to the right, he swoons

It’s all that I have just to remember

The fields of a labor lost, its wheat, and your apricot dress

Oh, Emmy, I’m done

Oh, Emmy, I’m done

I’m gonna let go this silver gun, this happy, silver gun

Oh my home, oh my Aubergine,

When will we see the sun as it is

I will or I won’t, there is no bargain

Tobacco and smoke is all I know

Oh, Emmy, I’m done

Oh, Emmy, I’m done

Oh, Emmy, I’m done

I’m gonna let go this happy, silver gun

139. Show Me Ole Texas

DAY ONE-HUNDRED AND THIRTY-NINE

Texas Cowboy

Instrumentation: 2 tracks of Bariton Uke, treated

Midi: Several tracks of treated beats and one track of treated grand piano

Vocals: treated (vocal transformer)

Finished track: slowed down 10 BPMs from original recording tempo.

Lyrics: Inspired from old set lists from other bands found at Hog Farm Annex when Pearl and the Beard played there last night.  Jocelyn found three different set lists from nameless bands to use as scrap paper for our set, and, as we read through them, she mentioned they might work well as a 365 song.  So, here it is an old set list put to good 365 use.  The only rule was that I couldn’t change any of the words to fit the tense.  I had to use what was there though I could combine them or split them up.  In my original versions of this exercise (I did several), I used all the words, but for this song, I decided to cut a bunch out of it to simplify the piece as a whole.

This is how the set list I ended up using read… (if this is your band, or if you know who this might be: thanks!)

Label pills

El Gusano

Show Me

Ol Texas

Slow Shards

Super Vision

Acreless

Shot n Shot

Throw duck

Jet Fighter

Outside

Show Me Ole Texas

Show me ole Texas

The one we knew when we were younger

An acreless vision

Send me to El Gusano

A shot in the dark

I have super vision

She will see through me

She will see through me

Like your favorite dress

Show me ole Texas

Throw me a label of pills

We’ll drive through the night

Texas.

Pearl and the Beard is goin’ home tomorrow!  It’s been a fun mini tour, and it’s been very relaxing.  Thanks to all who made it out to the shows!  See you soon!

110. Untitled: Sam McCormally and Emily Hope Price #3 (Incomplete)

DAY ONE-HUNDRED AND TEN

I couldn't decide what picture to post of Sam... I think this one's a bit funny (if not intimidating - though it's a great shot of his sweet glasses), but it's all I have. Taken in DC on Pearl and the Beard's tour to Austin, TX in March.

Well, this is a bit unprecedented, but I think this will be an interesting addition to the 365.  This is a song Sam McCormally (of day 10 and day 22) and I worked on about two months ago.  Jonathan and I visited DC a while back and Sam and I had a quick second to sit down and work out a skeleton of this song.  We attempted working on it over email, but it kind of came to a screeching halt when lyrics became a problem (as there really aren’t lyrics for this song).  Sam laid down the guitar and his vocals, sent it to me, and I put cello and my vocals on top.  I sent it back to him to do lyrics for it, but… life happens, you know?

BUT, I really wanted to post it, and I’m just not sure when it will ever get completed.  We went back and forth for a while with 3 different versions (the second one being a little over the top on my end of things…).  This version, the last version I offered up to Sam after he sent me his parts, was by far the most simplest and complimentary to the vocal line.  I resisted Sam’s suggestion to leave my vocals word-less at first, but, in listening to it again, maybe he’s right.  In any case, this unfinished song allows insight into the gibberish that occurs when lyrics have yet to be incorporated.  What you’re hearing lyrically here is an improvisation.

That’s it for today.  I will now be getting back to more writing.  I do hope one day this gets finished, but, until then, I offer up this sketched version to you as the one-hundred and tenth song of the 365 Project.

Untitled and Incomplete (Sam McCormally and Emily Hope Price)

109. None Spoke (Cormac McCarthy)

DAY ONE-HUNDRED AND NINE

Okay, I went to a rehearsal last night with Matt Singer, whom you might remember from day 38.  I told him of my lyric troubles and recent total word black out… I mean… it literally feels like someone turned the main switch off in the entire building, and everything is completely out.  I can’t even spark to like the gas stove, you know?  Like a I got a lobotomy in my sleep!

Matt suggested (along with several people, including myself) that I read.  Now, true confessions: I don’t like to read.  My mother loves to read.  She reads 5 books a week, all at the same time, rotating and reading and reading and reading.  I’m really not sure where my dislike of reading came… maybe after I graduated school?  After I didn’t find I got a grade or had an assignment due after I finished it.  I read a TON in high school and college.  What happened?  Now that there’s no academic payoff, I quit?!  I really want to love to read.  Reading helps you write better and think better… I get bored easily when reading, and I often think to myself, “I could be really doing something with my time right now, and here I am, just sitting here, reading.”  I also lose focus easily in a book, daydreaming and often have to go back and reread entire paragraphs.  I’m a fairly quick reader, so it’s not even a time issue.  It’s really a mystery.

In any case, I love what Matt told me when he suggest I read: “You don’t have to read the books necessarily.  Just look at the words.  You need to at least be looking at words in order to write words.”  He immediately sent me home with two books (which he disclaimered as saying, “These aren’t my favorite books, but the author’s writing is good.”).  The funny thing is, just looking at the words makes me read the book, so I’m tricking myself into reading by looking at them.  Maybe you’re thinking it’s kind of adolescent?  Well, you gotta do what you gotta do right?  If your kid won’t eat vegetables, isn’t it better to melt cheese on top?

I chose a book Matt lent me written by Cormac McCarthy.  Matt and I discussed “stealing” words.  I think, and Matt agrees, too, that most musicians “steal” (in the most legal of senses most of the time) from either writers or each other.  I’ve even heard music teachers claim that all modern music today (ALL) came from Bach.  That’s arguable, but an interesting thought nonetheless.  In this case, I have taken words that aren’t mine to, hopefully, spark words that will be mine in a few days…

This song is an exercise for me.  I picked a paragraph from McCarthy’s novel Blood Meridian, First Vintage International Edition, May 1992.  The challenge for me was in playing an unfamiliar instrument (the accordion) and at the same time making musical, writing which is unfamiliar to me, very unlike my own, and melodically not restraining myself to a “real song” structure (verse melody, chorus, bridge), but allowing it if it went there, too.

*I’ve gotten several questions recently about whether the 365 is all “real songs”.  What in the crap does that mean? (I kind of feel like people who ask me that expect me to say “no” and I would then see a reaction of disappointment or something…like it would be less interesting because the 365 might not contain “real” songs.)  I suppose we all have our own expectations for the 365; me included.  It’s okay.

Recording: Hung the mic from a cabinet drawer, which I think is to blame for the room sound it’s getting.  Recorded main vocal and accordion simultaneously in one take mainly improvising to get a good clean head space.  Did a track of accompanying accordion and back up vocal.

None Spoke

Blood Meridian, by Cormac McCarthy page 146- 147

None spoke.

The judge sat half naked and sweating for [the night was cold].

It strikes me, he said, that either son is equal in the way of disadvantage.

So what is they way of raising a child?

At a young age they should be put in a pit with wild dogs.

They should be set to puzzle out from their proper clues the one of three doors that does not harbor wild lions.

They should be made to run naked in the desert…

They should be made to run naked in the desert

They should be made to run naked in the desert until…

The question was put in all earnestness.

And the answer, said the judge.

If God meant to interfere in the degeneracy of mankind

Would he not have done so by now?

Would he not have done so by now?

The way of the world is to bloom and to flower and die

But in the affairs of men there is no waning

And the noon of this expression signals the onset of night.

His spirit is exhausted

at the peak of its achievement.

Let him play for stakes.

This you see here…

None spoke.

The judge sat half naked and sweating for [the night was cold.]

85. More Easy Than Good or Jesus Saves

EIGHTY-FIVE

On tour we drove through a few southern states which I had never visited before: Memphis, Little Rock, etc.  On route to Austin, we saw many billboards, but it wasn’t until we got to the south that we saw huge ones that boldly stated: Jesus Saves. I grew up in a very religious culture, so this song expresses some feelings (guilt, blame, worthlessness) I remember hearing from various members of congregations as I was growing up, and personal feelings I’ve had as well regarding, but certainly not limited to, Christianity and a general spirituality.  It’s important for me to be honest, and I find exploring these kinds of topics freeing.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about Johnny Cash recently.  He’s such a fascinating man and had a really interesting relationship with hymns I never knew about before I started reading about his life.  I’m also aiming for this song to be a kind of hymn-like, in a way.  I will structure this better and that idea will hopefully be clearer at a later time.

Due to a huge time crunch these past 24 hours, I’m submitting a 365 song that is vastly unfinished.  I don’t mind unfinished necessarily because it gives you an idea of the drawn out process a song can have, even if it is a part of a 365 project.

Writing: I generally don’t write narratives, ballads or story songs.  It was suggested I do one, and I took up the challenge.  They are really difficult to do and do well.  With this song already, I find major issues with the story line: in verse 4 it says she loved a boy, but in verse 5 is says she never loved anyone.  Also, who is verse 5 about?  It’s supposed to follow a life-line of this women from birth to near death.  Each verse should be a major event: birth, childhood, adolescence, marriage, present, death.  Even this rough out line is just a sketch or a guess, really.

I also have problems with the general form of this song as it is.  How many verses before a chorus are there?  Will there be words in the chorus?  The form of the song was basically improvised.  I just played the baritone uke after figuring out a few shifts and had the verses in front of me with no plan.  This can be really good or really bad.  I found I did something completely different for the chorus than what I had practiced, which might be better, but the general layout of the song is very wonky.  I’m actually happy you get to hear it like this.  I think this song has potential, but not there yet.  I will work on it.

I’m also still working on a catch title.  Not sure I like what’s here.

Recording: I did this about 4 times stopping and starting to get the intro right.  I recorded it as a whole about 2 times, this is a second take.  I didn’t try this kind of singing for it until the very last take, this take.  I like the singing ideas and think it would sound nice with some harmonies.

I’m off to the airport to fly to Utah tonight for two solo shows this weekend.  I’m excited to play, although already anxious to return.  There is a lot to do still, and I still haven’t packed yet!

EHP

More Easy Than Good or Jesus Saves

“Jesus, He saves,” she said from her swing

“But, He’ll never get this far, you’ll see, not for me.”

“For I lived such a long time, a long way from there,

“So you see it’s just too far, just too far I fear.”

I was born from the britches of witches with wings

Or so the old fable my nana did sing

Left on the steps of a mayoral race

Well, he won on that day I arrived at that place

Brought up so pretty with paper and skins

On my shoes, red bows with lace and buttons

Beat only once for the shape of my nose

And on birthdays got dresses I was sure to outgrow

Fell love with a boy but she was his prize

A beauty with ginger and emeralds for eyes

A spell she did cast unlike mine from the start

He is gone, I’m alone, my dearest sweetheart

Gave him the best and the worst I could stand

And at sun down gave beatings with black and blue hands

Doin’ my best to do all of my worst

Never loved anybody, and all did I curse

Jesus, Jesus, brother of mine

Stained my white dresses with your cups of wine

Broken my back with the weight of your rood

And I’m findin’ bad easy, more easy than good

They say Jesus comes, but no, not for me.

I’m wicked and ugly and bad company

For I lived such a long time, a long way from there,

So you see it’s just too far, just too far I fear.

65. Tender, Tender (A Song Study On Lyric Immediacy with Jocelyn Mackenzie)

DAY SIXTY-FIVE

Jocelyn Mackenzie

Pearl and the Beard had our first show of the Rebus McEntour 2010 in Philadelphia tonight.  It was awesome and sweaty.  Now, Jeremy has gone out with the guys (which Jocelyn and I encouraged because he will be spending two weeks with two girls in a cramped SUV- he needs to get guy time whenever he can get it.)

Jocelyn and I stayed in after the show, met some really great people and wrote a song for the 365.

Writing: Things happen when it’s late at night and you’re exhausted.  Jocelyn and I alternated writing each line.   Jocelyn had a sparkle on her face, so I wrote that as the first line.  Joc did the second, I did the third, etc.  The “santa on my blue, blue pants” links Jocelyn’s pajamas to this song: she has Santa lobsters on her blue pajamas; and “fragrant roses on your sheets” is the print that’s on the sheets on the bed where we’re sleeping.  “Egypt calling to my heart” is about the shirt Jocelyn was wearing to bed: it had Egypt on it.  All you need is some stuff and a way of singing about it, no?  I’ve talked about Jocelyn’s uncanny ability to write lyrics very randomly and quickly, and this is a good example of her influence in this song.  We wrote this in maybe 5-10 minutes or less.

Recording: We ran through it three times and recorded it once.  It peaks on the loud parts, but it’s okay.  This is a good exercise in just doing it… just do it!  Sometimes really interesting things come out, even if it won’t win awards, I now have a good memory with Jocelyn about tender, tender meats!

I hope your tender meats are so tender right now!  Stay warm and relaxed, and have some meats!   – EHP

Tender, Tender

Sparkle on your face

Sparkle in your eye

I don’t want to talk about it

I want to know why

It’s just a confusing mess

It’s a paradox of life

Candy colored rainbows

Make a unicorn my wife

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow

Stab me in the chest you rugged beast

How, how, how, how, how, how, how

Tender, tender are your meats

Santa on my blue, blue pants

fragrant roses on your sheets

Egypt calling to my heart

Tender, tender are your meats

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow

Stab me in the chest you rugged beast

How, how, how, how, how, how, how

Tender, tender are your meats

Sparkle on your face

Sparkle in your eye

I don’t want to talk about it

57. Red Barn At Dusk (RPM)

DAY FIFTY-SEVEN

Mercury Lounge Show Tonight!

7 pm. 365 Songs! and Abbie Gardner is singing with me!

Opening for Dan Torres!

$10. Be there or Be absent and squarish.

This is a red barn. But not at dusk. But I think it’s okay that way.

Red Barn At Dusk

Am I the talk of the stage? No.

Am I the bride or groom?  No.

Did you leave me? No.

Am I the talk of the stage?  No.

Did you see my name in lights?

Like they foretold?

I liked you then more.

Liv, come back!

Liv, come back!

Don’t you know I have your shoes on my back porch?

Am I the talk of the stage?  No.

Am I the talk of the stage?  No.

Did you show your age for my back?

Oh, every time.

Every time.

Every time.

This is the last song I completed for the RPM project.  It’s over!  Guy Capecelatro started the first two tracks of this song, then sent it to Mike who added two.  I got it yesterday and worked on it last night.  I added two tracks of vocals.  These lyrics are improvised.  The crying in the end was a weird glitch in my brain that said to me as I was singing, “Hey. Cry here.”  Ha!  It was funny and when I was done I thought, “Can I really send this?”  It was the first take of those vocals and the eleventh-hour was drawing nigh, so I didn’t do them again.  Guy wrote back after I sent it to him, “This is so very awesome and unexpected.  I’m entranced by the singing.  Have you heard Cocorosie?  Has a little of that going on, particularly in the near sobbing ending.”

I had not heard of CocoRosie.  I LOVE IT!!!  And now you can know about CocoRosie, too!

I am tired.  I have a show tonight!  Yay!

Once again I am feeling great, huge heaping amounts of gratitude for you.  Thank you for coming over.  Have a spectacular day.

EHP

51. Mr. Mischievous (Tribute to Vic Chesnutt)

DAY FIFTY-ONE

Still in Miami with one last four-hour show still to go…

Guy Capecelatro sent me this email a few weeks ago:

So one of the projects I’m doing for the RPM is a tribute to Vic Chesnutt.  He’s been an amazing inspiration over the years.  I actually got to open up for him in town about 18 years ago and have seen him play lots.  If you didn’t know, he killed himself about 5 weeks ago.

The project is to get folks to use the words I wrote and make a song of it.  I know some of your 365 songs have been outside source material so if you have any interest in taking a whack at let me know. If you do decide to make a song out of it please do feel free to make it your own.  Have your way with changing words, adding things, taking stuff away.  There will be ten versions so anything the more of yourself you can bring to it, all the better.  I’m most curious to hear what this becomes.

Plus today I made two more songs from your loops.  I’ll send them along tomorrow.  It’s quite a bit of pressure I feel with these as they’re so beautiful on they’re own and I don’t want to disappoint you.  Nervous!

Okay ma’am,

Guy

I should tell you right now, I have never really listened to Vic Chesnutt’s music before today.  Guy mentioned something about him a few weeks ago while I was in Portsmouth and played me a few seconds of his song “Flirted With You All My Life”.  He’s really great!  (Shame on me for being so out of the loop.  Man!)

I got home tonight at about 9:30 pm and passed out on a huge black bean bag chair: awesome!  I might get me one of these.  At 1 am I woke up and decided to get to work the song.  I have been traveling all day to the south and played my uke a little in the car while my dear friends Jason and Melanie drove around southern Miami.  Technically, I just realized, when I write at 1 am it’s actually the day after, but it’s all subjective.  I’m still counting it.

Recording/Writing: The writing of the melody of this song took place away from any instruments.  I usually find this method extremely helpful.  I wrote and recorded the cello part and the main vocal in about 30-45 minutes.  It was very fast.  I wonder if you’re asking yourself why I made this vocal style choice.  Well, I’m not sure what to tell you: as I sang the melody to find it, that’s what I started doing and kept it.  I like it.  Recording the other voices took time to record and line up and then I added a simple cello part.  I still think there are some holes in this song production-wise, but it’s so late (4:15 am!) that it’s good enough for song of the day.

For me, finding arrangements and melodies for other people’s words is usually sitting and looking at them for a minute and do it away from any instruments, like I just mentioned.  I look at the meter and play with different rhythms that the words might want to take on.  Sometimes it’s obvious, sometimes it’s not (see Sam McCormally’s song he emailed me for day 22 Vorarephilia).  In this case, for example, in the chorus there is the line “Didn’t I hear you say”.  The word “Didn’t” could have been a part of one entire line, but I decided to hook it in front of the beat instead of joined to the entire line.

Anyway, enough talk.   Just listen.  I hope you’ve scored yourself a sweet ice cream sandwich today: I did!

Mr. Mischievous (lyrics: Guy Capecelatro)

Lifted on the stage

Your mischievous eyes a flitter

You roll up to the mic

That booming voice sends shivers

You have us laughing

Then the dagger hits our chest

The places and the stories

We won’t soon forget

Didn’t I hear you say

Your sorrow seemed silly

Didn’t I hear you say

You weren’t quite ready

What a roller coaster you must have been on

Learned to play guitar

From you granddaddy in Zebulon

Running through the woods

Like a skinny Genghis Khan

You captured all those worlds

With a shrewd unflinching eye

And in the way you tell it

We feel like we’re inside

Didn’t I hear you say

Your sorrow seemed silly

Didn’t I hear you say

You weren’t quite ready

What a roller coaster you must have been on

Ain’t it funny and ironic

As a self-proclaimed atheist

You decide to leave this place

On the day of Christmas

50. Straight Line (Uke and Three Vocals)

DAY FIFTY

I drew this while on tour with Anna Vogelzang last summer. It is a giraffe. She likes giraffes.

I guess this is supposed to be a benchmark of some kind… song fifty.  I will celebrate it in my own small way by eating an ice cream sandwich today from somewhere.

This is a song I did this morning; right now.  It is exactly noon.  This is a short study on lyrics.

I will write a straight line.

Map out your face in lines and years.

I will write a straight line.

Writing/Recording: In total probably 1.5 hours. Improvised uke after finding little things I liked with which to repeat with in the structure.  Vocals are also improvised, but the study was to be simple yet refined in my lyric choice.  And it didn’t matter how little or many words I used, and I could repeat them, but they had to relate to one another and link together with one common word.  In this case, that word is line.

Straight Line (Uke and Three Vocals)

Hope you are well.  It will be Monday when you read this.  Mondays are special days.  Have an ice cream sandwich.

EHP

43. The Wreck of the Hesperus

DAY FORTY-THREE

Samuel Stolpe is a wonderful, old friend from Utah who is now living with his beautiful wife in DC.  I consider Sam a person in my life who has helped me cause a little bit of a stir when it comes to intelligent thinking and speaking, meaning he’s such a thoughtful person and incredibly intelligent, but, also, he is the person who introduced me to Jonny Greenwood of Radiohead; I’ve been hooked ever since.  Sam has collaborated on a song with me today.

The Wreck of the Hesperus

Boat, boat, boat sunk my boat sunk it

Deep, deep, deep couldn’t find it, couldn’t find it

Look, look, love love I’m tempted, love I’m tempted.

You, you, you will know, but you will know me

Float, float, float open sea with no direction

Sleep, sleep we will sleep for now and come back smiling

Leave, leave, leave you in the morning bleakness

Gone, gone my boat the sea did swallow

CHORUS

Oh love, I will call you brother then

And when all our wills have brought us bread, we’ll spend it, spend it

To this broken house you’ll bring me home

Make divided, lo, a place that we called whole

Walk, walk, walk all the soldiers to the river

Push, push them to surrender, they’ll surrender

Gone, gone their eyes, gone their eyes forever

Tie, tie their hands, their feet with feathers

CHORUS

BRIDGE

Oh, see (the sea)

Boat, boat, boat sunk my boat, sunk it

Deep, deep, deep couldn’t find it, couldn’t find it

Look, look, Love, Love I’m tempted, Love I’m tempted.

You, you, you, you will know, but you will know me

Writing:  Sometimes not thinking can be the best way to get things out and not get bogged down.  It was late when we started this, and I was exhausted.  Pretty much the only initially conscious thing I did with these lyrics was decide on using repetition.  I love repetition: it’s interesting and can be powerful, though I’m not sure how it comes across here yet.

On an interpretive note:  Though Sam sent me a rough track of this guitar part a while ago, I didn’t have time to look over it and work on lyrics or a melody, so, as I mentioned, we did it all tonight.  I wrote the lyrics very quickly, while nearly falling asleep, too, so I feel they were a little stream of consciousness, admittedly.

(I always thought songwriters wrote every single word as they went with purpose and with deep intention as they created.  Maybe the “good” writers do, but this isn’t to say I wrote this carelessly and without meaning or direction.  Many times I find my songs need to be completed first and then their intention takes shape afterwards (Gloria – day 3 – was formed in this same way whereas no. 23, Z for Zacharia, was the total opposite of this – the story was shaped as we went).  My subconscious surely had a hand in what was going on by me shutting off the judgements of my conscious mind.  Every song for me has a deliberateness all its own that might come at different times.  Personally, songwriting is more than the beauty of the timbre of the instruments, but the timbres of the words I’m choosing and how they create a rhythm and a color sonically, too.  One other point: these songs, particularly this one, are written in such a short time frame, they don’t go through an editing and perfecting process again and again over weeks or months, though I might do in the future.  I think of it as that extended project I’m writing for my AP English class or something: learning as I create to produce at a higher quality within less time.)

We had to add one line to the chorus, so I had Sam read it to decipher what going on.  It was uncanny what he pulled from it without any prompting from me at all, as I have recently been very thoughtful over these very theories with which he concluded.  I have asked him to say a little bit about his experience writing this song:

Sam Stolpe:

Emily and I started working on this a while back via the godsend iphone must-have app four-track.  She pulled together the rest of the song with the lyrics here in D.C., which felt so perfect with the mood I was trying for with the guitar… it reminds me of the idea that our experience is fundamentally unshareable, as close as someone else might desire to be, it’s impossible to really fully connect.  Not that this is intended as some kind of ode to solipsism; I like to think that there are connections that we don’t realize.

Did you ever see that old Ingmar Bergman movie Through a Glass, Darkly?  This song reminds me of it… “For now we see through a glass darkly, but then face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” 1 Cor. 13:12

These lyrics have communicated, at least to Sam and me, the idea that relationships with people, though some may be connections of a varied kind, in reality, are still just individual experiences.

(In an attempted explanation of his theory: most of the deeper aspects of connections with people occur without our conscious minds being aware they are happening which suggests we are totally independent from other people, not actually needing the validation we think we need; that it’s not other people that are creating our need for closeness: it’s us.  What if we got rid of this need and simply experienced other people for who they really are, not what we need them to be for us?  This “glass darkly” idea- like when you look through a window at night with the lights off as opposed to the lights on: you don’t see your own reflection but what is truly beyond the glass.)

Sam and I talked for a long time after finishing the song about feeling the want to be “needed” and “appreciated” within a connection with another person and that connection is only a reflection of our own self; in a basic sense: selfishness.  It is an exercise of “being awake” that is most valuable, we concluded, and that will help us see beyond the reflection of ourselves we so often put onto others and help us truly see, without bias, insecurity, selfishness, or judgement the person to whom we are communicating.  We also addressed the idea of “recognition”- meeting someone for the first time and it’s like you’ve known them before.  It’s all very interesting and frustrating at the  same time… it’s also a bit difficult to describe all we talked about here, but it gives you a general over-view.  It was wonderful and amazingly appropriate timing.

Recording: Sam played guitar and wrote all the music.  I wrote lyrics and melody (though Sam helped with chorus!)  We recorded guitar and vocals simultaneously.   I love recording songs like this!  I would say that if I’m going to record and write these in one day, I want to have myself start thinking about the way I’m singing things and planning phrasing out more deliberately.  I would have liked to have a few tiny things in the vocals change and disappear stylistically in this song in particular.  (This is just me being picky.)   I will be more conscious about this just as an exercise in consciousness.

I hope your Valentine’s Day has been very restful…It is 2:41 am, and I sometimes type these in near pass-out tiredness, so typos are everywhere and often!  But more importantly, I’m so glad you listen and come here.  Thank you!