It Won’t Be Long
I love the way you look at me You know, the way when you look at me You left today with a heavy heart I said goodbye and that you’d be alright It won’t be long, it won’t be long It won’t be long until you’re gone *I don’t know how far I’m gonna go *But I know you can hold me, hold me tonight Your memory holds a lot of things for me A face I knew a thousand, million years ago You fill my mind, though you’re a specter now Hands build walls around to keep you out It won’t be long, it won’t be long It won’t be long until **I’m gone.
I don’t really want to write about this song, or, at least, I didn’t want to earlier. At all. I finished it around 5:00 and having some distance from it, I think I can say a few things; only because it’s important to myself that I say them.
Song restriction: Write a song limiting cryptic word choice (although I couldn’t erase it completely it seems), as I tend to lean more towards that spectrum generally. This song’s working title was “The Plain Song”. This exercise ended up tapping into some really painful memories and current, more daunting, feelings for me. Weird. I only really remember writing one other song having this effect on me, so today, creatively, has been burdened and tough for me. The toughest so far. I should be candid here, as I feel like it’s been the norm: I spent most of the day sobbing, writing, then crying, recording, then crying again. I fear this makes me sound like the biggest baby, (and I can’t describe how much I hate telling you that’s actually what happened), but I wrote a song, and it’s over now.
Song melody originally written with violin, but moved to cello for ease of chord configuration as I know the instrument better. I always fear I’ve heard my melodies somewhere before and that I’m unknowingly plagiarizing. But, it is what it is. If I did steal it, it was totally unintentional and was somehow filed away in the recesses of my music box brain.
There are four very specific people represented here, one per the two lines of each verse. Two from my past. Two from my present. All are currently living. One from my past connects to my present, and one from my present connects to my past, though they don’t really know each other at all.
Recording: The short story of a very frustrating session- Cello run through an amp which was recorded through the bathroom door. Vocals were recorded (sitting, curled-up position- I mention this because it was important to me to naturally affect the vocals. I wanted to created a vocal sound that conveyed restriction.) singing into a bodhrán in the bathtub with curtain drawn. For reasons that are too extraneous to take up space here, tempo was sped up a few clicks which is why it sounds a little different than normal. I don’t mind it and kind of like it. (This is the second take of three.)
I love that you are listening. Really. Thank you. I’m so grateful to think you’re listening, though I started this project for myself, it feels good to know you’re out there.
*I didn’t write this bridge before I recorded the song. I didn’t know what to say. So, these two lines are improvised.
**Saying “I’m” instead of “you’re” was a mistake, and I think it’s a bit cliché, but I kept the take. Maybe it’s better that way, I don’t know.